yesterday would probably our last fencing competition... its so sad tt its all over. the joy of competing with my friends and team mates, though we don't win all that much... its all over. but i guess i was quite satisfied with how it went yesterday... it was truly a brave fight on our part... the team we fenced against had their coach fencing for them, and used to be a national fencer... and yet we managed to score quite a bit against their team, losing 30-45. though the score may not seem much, we were down 1-9 and 4-15... so i thot we showed some heart fighting... am proud of you guys, victor and nick. glad to have team mates like u guys... :)

oh, nice to see u guys here, thanks for coming down hs n claire... haha. hope it was at least fun for u, and i'd pay you back for the food... thanks! :)

saturdays, wednesdays and thursdays will not be the same anymore...

after some rest at nick's house playing wc III after so long, went over to yh's place for tennis. started with a doubles match without much warmup and i was just a disaster... haha. yuan commented, 'we're losing games very fast'... and next thing i knew, we'd lost 2-6, much to yh's disbelief. he couldn't believe tt cm n him had won so fast... haha.

then played some singles, tiebreak stuff again... results are:

yh bt yuan 7-5 7-5
yh bt cm 2-7 7-5 7-4
xq bt yuan 9-7 7-0
xq bt cm 5-7 7-4 8-6
xq bt yh 8-6 8-6

i conclude tt tiebreaks are very mentally draining... every point counts and you've gotta be so concentrated. goodness knows how many times i let a lead slip... haha. once again, i think i've my serve to thank for winning, and though i did tense up, i'm glad i managed to force myself to hit through the ball in the end.

last few days have been quite tiring... strangely enough cuz i didn't attend school for 3 days now... :P

wed was crappy gp test... i think i died.

and thurs was just competition. my pool was so hard, and i was content with my performance, except tt if i had to do it again, i would have attacked more... trying again tmr... :)

ruth was impressive... she actually won the whole thing... beating this amazing jap girl, and the china mama singapore employed... think she really deserves it cuz she's worked hard for it. was a fabulous early bday gift for her...

nick was great too, won 3 of 5 in his pools and then won a match during the direct elimination round... was so happy for him... wish i had managed to win too though haha... :)

today i didn't attend sch like i was supposed to... went down to watch for a while more, then left with weili, zp and nick to taka. weili and zp were so hungry tt we had to eat a buffet at seoul garden. they just ate so so much... and well, i guess it was certainly worth the money we spent... haha. then walked round a lot, go so tired since i just ate and was kinda full... then played pool with nick and weili. hmmmm, nick has amazing powers... he doesn't need to aim... :rolleyes:... haha... generally was kinda fun, so yup...

oh, and i met so many pple... yx and her friend, k, tt's nothing new. i always meet them... wp and pc power! :P haha... and some others... ;)

k, actually, there've been much more happening, but nevermind abt those things...

this would be my 150th post! :) glad my saving it for a day when it wun be a depressing one has paid off... today was a good day... :) more so then it has been for week! what a relief... :) so happy tt Roland Garros has started...!!

watched my best friend's wedding on sun... i dun really like the ending... its so bittersweet... wish tt juliana got to be w mike.. or tt george wasn't gay and got to be with juliana. ah well, i guess tt's what makes this movie so good... :)

sat was hilarious... psychometric test was a disaster... i wasn't really in the mood to try very hard, plus the fact i was so groggy didn't help. so i kinda just struggled through it with no time left. there were just so many blanks and a lot of wrong answers. went over the yh's place, and saw the police trying to catch a monkey climbing up the walls of his condo. i tried to take a pix of it, but turned out looking like a lump on a wall, so i deleted it.

*note, rest of this post has to do w tennis... anyway then, there was this group of bitches who tried to invade our court, insisting they'd booked it. then, we went to check, and opps, they hadn't, we did. and they went over. and wth, the hour + we were, they were just making a hell lot of noise, squealling and screaming, complaining and of course, bitching. quote, "first thing, as them to on the lights, second thing, must scold them!" and then... "yee, so muddy and slippery. i'm going to sue the management cooperation..". ha, whatever.

we played matches - finally... :P teamed up w yh for doubles... was quite exciting. we were at the brink of losing being down 2-5. caught up to 5-5. then yuan and cm, led 6-5. and thank goodness i was serving well, or i think i wouldn't have been able to serve it out to get into a tie break. Tiebreak wasn't tt stressful cuz we usually had the lead, so it was 7-6(5) to us! what a comeback... :) singles was like this:

yuan bt yh 10-5
yuan bt cm 11-9
xq bt cm 10-5
xq bt yuan 10-5
xq bt yh 10-7
yh bt cm 14-12

the last match was quite exciting... :) but i was quite happy to have won so many tiebreaks! :) good test of concentration... and today, i played rather well, hadn't played so well in ages... so am quite pleased!! haha.

i am not pleased tt Agassi has exited in the first round of Roland Garros however... :(

this week has just been awful... haha, so zoned out. late nights every night, my energy is just sapped. but well, i'm standing... ;)

just dun feel like attending school anymore, i'm just sleeping every lesson, not doing much work, and ponning more and more lessons everyday. haha, even at chem today, i just kept having to redo my experiment, and i didn't even manage to finish it. tt has never happened... haha. jeanne tan was shocked when she looked at my script today.

whatever... anyway, Mr chan accepted my suggestion to play taboo during civics! haha, with huishan and me on the same team, our side won quite easily... :P haha...

went to watch hockey after sch, just couldn't bring myself down for bio s, for quite a few reasons. anyway, it was pretty exciting... and there was this superbly amazing player - Pauline, number 77... very impressive crosses, strikes on the ball, and dribbling through long lines of defenders... :) saw hon score too... and the last goal was just quite amusing... bounced of a defender's stick and lobbed over the goalie... haha...

went orchard for dinner after tt... haha, wp and hs sure know how to travel and eat... love it man... except its tough on my wallet... haha... but dinner was so good!! tried to by my sis's bday present but found nothing.

competition is coming soon, i just wish it weren't tt tough. but still, i'm just diverting lotsa energy there, hopefully release all the unhappiness. haha...

and commendable performance by the 3 finalists on idol... thought fantasia's 3 performances were all great!! and i loved diana's last performance a lot... guess i can quite relate to it in a way, though i wasn't too pleased w her first 2 songs... esp e 2nd one, she just ruins the feelings in a celine song. dun like the arrangement either. and so glad jasmine was in tune! :) if only she didn't smile in the last song, then it'd have been quite good... :)

Don't Cry Out Loud

Baby cried the day the circus came to town,
'Cause she didn't want parades just passing by her.
So she painted on a smile and took up with some clown,
While she danced without a net upon the wire.
I know a lot about her, 'cause you see,
Baby, is an awful lot like me.

Don't cry out loud,
Just keep it inside,
And learn how to hide your feelings.
Fly high and proud.
And if you should fall,
Remember you almost had it all.

Don't cry out loud,
Just keep it inside,
And learn how to hide your feelings.
Fly high and proud.
And if you should fall,
Remember you almost had it all.

i remember a time... where i smiled and laughed a lot more than i frowned... vaguely...

how things have changed. is it the school? the teachers? or my friends? or me...? i wish i knew.

but things have certainly changed. from what i was before i entered J1, and at the beginning of J1, when my classmates would always be asking me, "Why are u smiling so much?" and "Why are you so happy?"... now its, "What's wrong with you? Why do you look so sad?" or "Why do you look so pissed?"... i which i knew. i long for the time when i was happy again... truly happy, not for a day or two like i have to desparately hope for now...

it seems like a dream though... all too far away too.

was a hectic day today... went out at 9+ after a woke up, came home at 11+... quite bushed now...

watched Troy at cini today... realised it is quite fun to watch movies in the morning, less pple, so more space and shorter queues! :) the movie was 3h long, but i must say i quite enjoyed it... plenty of eye candy too... ;) and yh couldn't find his wallet again... haha, luckily it didn't fall to far away... :P

yihan n i left nick n zp, to head back for tennis, terribly late cuz our space pods broke down... :( ;) anyway, was freaking hot, and played like crap from the back and caused yh to lose his doubles with me... when i partnered yuan, i was at the net and things worked out better though we almost lost it when yuan decided to be psychomotor. i was shouting, out!! cuz cm's lob was going out... he looked at me, looked at the ball and somehow swang at it, and hit it into the net. apparently, he claimed he had difficulties in controlling his hand. hmmm...

and we played cranium!! yay! :) partnered yh for it, and dispite my lousiness at hummdingers (though i think i did guess 1??), we made up for it w e other team's lack of ability to sculpture... :P heh... yuan's sculptures all start off like ridges, till when the word ridge came, cm couldn't guess it cuz it was the same as the previous 10? haha

went over to yun lei's bday party after tt... was quite fun... was mostly with louisa, shane, serene, kum weng and yihan... the 3k pple came very early and had went off to do other stuff by the time we arrived to eat... haha. was so dumb cuz e 6 of us, plus emily, honlyn, valerie and had to get cabs, and we just wanted 2, so the girls in 1... but serene became a cab reject... :( but ah well, she got to go w shane in a cab... ;)

after lots of chattering, there was kbox... and as usual i just sat there and listened... was quite amusing too! :) serene was v good at singing!! yihan was quite good too... :D the duets between kenneth and zp were quite amusing... and somehow, they got yunlei so sing some w kenneth... :P ahhh, but after listenning to so many sappy love songs, and seeing so many lovey dovey couples, and some a few i think will soon be... i kinda feel a little envious, but also happy for them...

phew, so glad for the weekend... past week has just been hectic...
this friday's been good to me... see when u dun attend stupid bio pract with inge, life's great! :)

Mr Lim was quite amusing during lecture... kept speaking during the movie, then was saying how he always scold pple who let their phones go off during movies... haha... sat w zp, and he asked quite interesting qns... and hmmmm, his mood is going up and down so much these days i dun even think my worse can compare... mine is just... bad, worse and worst... haha... :P

We went out with Alfy for lunch... he was so nice, wanted to treat us to secret recipe. refused him in the end, though we ate there... it was so yummy!! the cakes are lovely... :) talked so much crap, and bitched abt inge to him... hurhur. anyway, watched the tennis guys today... they are quite good, and the other team is quite odd... not too good though... thrashing... haha

anyway, shouted at jl today during chem pract. he deserves it man... after all he's done to so many of my friends. ah well, maybe someone would actually disillusion him, and he'd know how he really is like. until then, sweet dreams... oh, and dearie, u can't out talk me, so dun even bother trying. u make yourself look so stupid.

and yes, someone said i was perverted... hmmm, i wonder who's the one. if u didn't do it in the first place, i'm sure i'd have noticed lor... :P yeah, i'm joking too... haha...

was planning to slp cuz of my splitting headache... but i doubt i'd be able to anyway...

sighs, seems to be a lot of happiness around lately, and it just sucks to see my friends down, and worse still, not being able to do anything to cheer them up... :( cheer up guys... flash me tt million dollar smile! :)

anyway, the day was ok... things just seem to be changing all the time though... not sure if they're good?? hope so...

training today... i thought it was gonna be such a torture cuz i was just feeling under the weather. somehow managed to pull through and made the coach happy... i guess its just a change in attitude tt helps... but yeah, was more accurate and fast in responding today, so i hope it stays tt way... :) first time i've gone off feeling good after training with him...

played table tennis w cm for a while... haha, i think my control has improved slightly, and some of those balls i smack actually land on the table... though quite a number hit him... O_o enjoyed playing badminton w nick too... wish there were a court for us to use though... so hard to play without one... :(

can't believe idol... i kinda expected La Toya or Fantasia to go out yesterday... and shock everyone, but then i somehow hoped it wouldn't happen. i dunno why i was so shocked still... ahhh, crap. La Toya power vocals is no match for power puff tears and pout... go Fantasia, i hope u win. but i predict Diana for the win... and Fantasia runner's up...

hey... cool new outlook for blogger... u guys wun know though unless u blog... ;)

k, gonna make this quick cuz i wanna slp! :P

mon: i was happy, very happy though i had a lot to study... guess after everything had blown over, i felt so relieved and glad... :)

tues: chem test was hectic man... i rushed like mad, but still was too slow. and yuan struts round and asks abt how it was... hmmm, u guessed it, he finished it. and he was trying to distub us while we were desprately trying to study bio... he doesn't know the pain... :( oh, and went to have gelare and 6th's avenue... i dunno how to spell the name of the shop... O_o ahh well, nevermind, it was yummy... ate choc, durain, peanut butter, yohgurt and rum and raisin!! and when i wanted to ta bao some back for nick, the woman looked at me... absoultely shocked. u have gotta see her expression... haha

today: training was tough for me cuz i still feel so sickly and all... plus, i had not enough slp? bio was a nightmare thanks to inge being lousy. can't believe how she bitched at michelle just cuz michelle went to complain abt her notes being inadequate... whatever. if u really can do another job... go, cuz u suck at teaching as much as u like it... wasted a trip down to orchard, didn't get the stuff i was hoping to get... sorry to have brought u along on a wild goose chase... :S anyway, idol... hmmm, jasmine is really outclassed, she needs to go. and i'm scared fantasia can't win... haha. diana and fantasia should go into the final 2... i think they are the best... :)

Its mother's day today... i gave my mum her present... she was happy with it, but concluded i spend about a third of my pocket money on other pple... wonder if tt's true... ;)

anyway, went to our sch's ORA funfair... "move and groove"... was actually quite crowded there. watched the fringe concert and talent time... some of the acts were quite entertaining, but there were only 2 tt were really good singers... and i think one of them should try for Singapore Idol! :) left the show halfway cuz all my classmates had to leave, and i was bored sitting there... went to watch the time capsule unveiling ceremony w yilan, and tt was lame. they had yearbooks, student handbooks and other crap in the time capsule... wow... so impressive. so we went to canteen, and ate... the food was great... tried the rotti prata, it was crispy and curry was quite fragrant... :) the coconut helped to quench my thirst on a very hot day... too hot... :( met up w shan, aaron and wk after tt... ate more! satay, crepes and dunno what else la... haha. then was stopped by allen cuz he wanted me to play his game. won a pencil for $2... ... ... haha...

got kinda sian cuz of the hot weather and crowdedness, so after 4.5 hours, i decided to leave... went w wk and claire to watch van helsing!!! the movie was great! but we were sitting in the first row... 2nd time i ever had to did tt... and gee, i pick such good times. 3.5 hours for LOTR and now 2+ hours for this... my neck is aching... haha. well, was worth it for the action and spectacular special effects... :) ending was sad, but well, i didn't mind, at least not today...

------

One Last Cry...
____________________________________
My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Than living a lie
I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down to my last cry

and... the stupid tagboard is forever down....

when tt feeling of melancholy is around, it affects everything u do... sucks... normally, i'd say my day was great, but today, i just get so zoned out... cause...

anyway, woke up early to accompany shan... went down to support the squash girls... it was the finals and the place was packed man... had to squeeze on the stairs. atmosphere was great as both sides cheered like mad. was kinda weird tt shan was cheering for hc though, in the midst of the rj camp... :P was quite exciting, cuz what happened was tt RJ put its 3 strongest players for the first 3 rubbers. the first one was easy... second one was actually a fight, think jiawen beat qiaomei (she went to aussie too!!) 3-1... was damn scary cuz if we lost tt match, we're gone... third one was quite crucial too, cuz we were sure to lose the 5th rubber as tt was their best player, against our average player. 3rd rubber... we won the first set... phew... but the next 2 sets just flew past, and we were down 1-2. hmmm, baorong fought back and took the next set, it was leveled at 2-2. everyone was thinking the last set would be a nailbiting one, but chuiping just ran away with it... 9-2 in the final set, so it was 3-2 to hc. at tt pt, we were up 2-1 still... but chances were slim... the next two rubbers, rj was the underdog. it was all thanks to siewfang... she was the 'man of the match' as shan put it... ;) haha... against julia, my ogmate in the past... she was supposed to lose... but she fought hard and kept her calm, toughed it out and finally gritted out a 3-2 victory. was damn close in the first 4 sets... last set, she just broke julia's will and came up trumphs! :) final match, though a formality, was quite interesting... this player, baoxin, was darn fat. at first i was thinking, hmmm, how to run?! she proved me wrong... she was amazingly fast, and damn good too, she was just moving jessica all over the place, and it was really a thrashing. at one pt i was thinking tt jessica wouldn't get on the scoreboard... haha. ok, it was really interesting watching, think squash is also a game tt requires a lot of smarts... i like sports like tt... :)

after tt, went back for a rest, and played tennis w yuan. played a 3 set match, and won 6-4 6-0. was a match filled with DFs... but i guess i won a lot of the impt pts, so tt's y i won... :P am glad tt i'm able to keep my errors under control now adays... :)

am so full now... dinner out was quite filling...

stupid lycos removed my pix... had to fix the whole blog... dumb. thank god for this free pix hosting site i found... :)

sianed day... started off bad where i got booked for being late. and it was cuz i just forgot to take my medicine and had to go back to take it... and when i reached there, i saw cm scurrying up the stairs, being scot free! :@

anyway, the only fun i had today was diaoing inge during bio... put her in a spot cuz she didn't wanna mark our practs... other than tt, sian sian and more sian... plus i had no appetitide for food... :(

seems like unhappy things happen a lot at once... ;)

anyway, am currently having a 3 way conference call w yuan and cm... so interesting... hope for yuan's sake it doesn't cost extra... :P

just recieved an overseas call from xin xin!! would u believe it... haha... :) missed him so much, was talking loads to him... funny how he can switch proficiently between his singlish and canadian accent... ;) must catch up with him some day in the future...

anyhow, my ailment has been getting worse... didn't attend school today... its a welcome break though, was getting so sick of the drudgery of day to day lectures etc... only problem is my blocked nose. i hate being unable to taste my food... :(

yesterday, i watched the RP production... i think its not very polished... and the actress's accent needs serious work if she is to be understood. anyhow, i think the cast is pretty good... :P also did a most embarrassing thing too... fortunately only 1 person heard it... ;)

AMI was fabulous yesterday... i was really so glad to have 5 rather good performances... of course, fantasia came out tops with her emotional "What are you doing the rest of your life"... she really deserves to win with tt and "Summertime" under her belt... :) Jasmine and George were in the bottom, i'd say tt america got it right... and george left... not unbelievable either... george was very good, but has just been going downhill... Jasmine be warned!! I'm rooting for a Fantasia and Diana finals... though i dun really like Diana as much as Jasmine, Diana can sing so much better, its hard to just ignore it...

hmmm, i kinda just feel like my life is so disorganised now... i need so order and discipline man... or i'm gonna suffer real bad... O.o

am sick again, things are getting rough man!! ;)

hmmm, played tennis past 2 days... been doing great, except for periods where i lose my focus and everything flies...
school sucks... esp inge. tt woman is getting on my nerves so much, i wanna smash her face into a window, and scar it... haha.

anyways, think my attitude has been less than appealing to everyone around me recently. probably got lotsa pple disliking me now, but whatever, and sorry in any case.

hmmm, sick of everything... so many doubts in my head once again... so many things lead to them... but i guess i'm kinda resigned? so it'll get better... :)

cya all... i really wonder if i'll be missed if i'm gone one day...

yeah yeah!! venus won her 2nd title in a row... she's on fire now... :) 11 match winning streak on clay, Tier 1 and Tier IIA titles... :) dun say she didn't beat good players, she just beat Zvonareva and Kuznetsova... her season has started... :P

and i can't believe Man U lost again??! wth are they doing... wth were they thinking with forlan playing again?!! he screwed up so bad... let's see, with a chance to equalise, he headed a ball, tt was 1m away from the goal up above the goal. just great. and i only managed to catch 4mins of the match, and tt happens. i can't imagine what was happening b4 this...

anyway, yesterday was pretty good... woke up at 11.30... went with my family and grandma for lunch at the dim sum restaurant at Paragon... not bad... :) after tt, met nick for a movie. watched 50 First Dates... it was good... very sweet and full of funny moments, laughed quite a bit. and thankfully, the plot is quite different from most other films of this genre... after tt, we went to look for clothes for me... bought a really nice T-shirt... couldn't decide between many, so thank u for helping me... haha. too bad i burnt all the money my dad gave... :S after tt, looked round for a mother's day pressie... he got a rather nice one, but i've not found anything yet... boohoo... :'( anyway, met up with yuan after tt, and was amusing to see how happy he was to get his new racket. lucky boy... its quite good, think he can use it quite well with it... :) made our way to yh's house, played cranium... yuan and i partnered and won!! my die rolling skill is unmatched... ;) and yeah, cm stunted us with his incredible knowledge. anyone knows who's andy warhol? yup, didn't think so... at least i'm the only one to know the first video tt ever aired on MTV... :P

k, tennis was not too good... ;) was very groggy due to the stupid popcorn... and played liked tt. was playing a match against yuan, and until i forced myself to wakeup, balls were just flying by b4 i could ever react. he went up 3-0, and i made it 4-3. then it was 4-4. and i won the last 2 games... some games were pretty close, but i wouldn't say the match was close... :P but i must say, it was amazing how he was hitting every short ball from me for a winner in the middle of the match. totally stunted me... decided to hit deeper, and thankfully it worked... :) DFs were really dreadful from me... hit 3 in a row at 1-3 down. imagine if he converted a BP, 1-4 is so different from 2-3. haha...

k, haven't being doing work. and i seriously suck at electrochem... the chem s electrochem is just undoable...